Someone asked me on Instagram if I would do a post about how to raise good Muslim kids and I felt like that was something I would love to write more about. I know this is a common concern for a lot of parents when we’re living in non-muslim majority countries. I thought I would share my thoughts around that & some things we have tried to incorporate for Anya in these early years.
I think a little differently maybe than a lot of Muslim parents around us. I don’t think that the Quran lessons, or Islamic school is something to do when your kids reach a certain age or to ‘check of our list’. I think raising kids who feel connected to their Muslim identity and faith goes much deeper than that.
I feel like however much I want for my daughter’s life to be happy and perfect when she grows up, I know there will be heartbreaks and pain. And I know from experience, that when we go through those worst days of our lives, when everything feels so hopeless, our faith can give us the strength we need. It helps us remember that there’s a bigger picture and that at the end of the day there’s ONE being we always have. More than anything else, WE NEED our spiritual connection with Allah. I’ve found comfort in it and of course I want my daughter to have that gift too, maybe more than anything else in the world.
As Muslims sometimes we tend to get so absorbed in the nitty gritty things of religion (eg: the halal/haram debates, whether we can pray with nail-polish or not.. and so many others..) that we do forget the main purpose of this all: this connection with our Creator, which is the core of everything else! My biggest hope is to make sure Anya has that. I wanted to share a few things that we have tried to incorporate in her life since the beginning. MashAllah, she just LOVES Allah, talking about Him, thinking about Him and more and I hope it always stays like this!
Just so you know, the way you incorporate these ideas will be different depending on your kids ages, but the main intention remains th same:):)
(DISCLAIMER : THESE TIPS ARE A LITTLE MORE THAN SHARING RESOURCES TYPE JUST SO YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH I AM SHARING A FEW FAVORITES. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I’M SURE YOU’LL FIND MANY RESOURCES ONLINE.
THE TIPS THAT I’M SHARING HERE ARE BEYOND THAT AND MIGHT MEAN WORKING ON OUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH ALLAH. BECAUSE RAISING GOOD MUSLIM KIDS ISN’T POSSIBLE WITHOUT BEING BETTER MUSLIMS OURSELVES.)
3 WAYS TO CONNECT YOUR MUSLIM KIDS TO THEIR FAITH
ONE / BUILD A LOVE FOR ALLAH // Don’t make their first introduction of Allah be of fear (save the ‘Allah won’t like it’, ‘He’ll be angry’ etc for when they’ve developed that love and awe already), instead tell them repeatedly how Allah keeps an eye on them, how much He love them. I love telling Anya of the hadith about Allah’s love and how is more so much more than even our mothers. Build an awe for Allah’s perfect creations, this universe, the beauty of the earth and how perfectly He designed us and our bodies.
TWO / BE OPEN TO THEIR QUESTIONS // NEVER snub their questions. Kids will ask how do we know Allah is real, why can’t we see Him, how can He watch all of us all the time and so-so much more. I really believe that if we want our kids to stay close to their faith, we just CAN’T not answer their questions. For many of us who did not grow up questioning / discovering and rediscovering our faith, these questions may make us uneasy and may require a lot of thought provoking discussions with ourselves and our own faith, but it is so-so worth it to give our kids a strong base.
As they get older, we should encourage discussions even. Of course, it may require us to do our own homework, do more research, think, ponder, read the Quran again and again to find our answers and so much more. A lot of us can be scared of this, but we don’t have to be, because if our intention is pure it will actually lead us closer to Allah ourselves! If you have a person around you who you look up to in matters of faith, it helps to discuss with them too!
THREE / MAKE YOUR FAITH A PART OF YOUR DAILY LIFE // Don’t limit Islam to only Namaz (salah) , a few Arabic duas our kids can memorize , when it’s Ramadan, or when we happen to be in the mosque. True faith is when we remember Allah all the time in our everyday life, whatever we may be doing and there are so many ways you can do this. We can connect so many things to our faith, good habits in our daily lives (like cleanliness for example), helping others out, being a good citizen or person etc. I love to connect stories from the Prophets lives that she reads to any struggles she is going through.
(I recently reminded Anya of Prophet Moses story of when he was going to talk to Pharoah and he was worried about if he would be able to convey his message and he made this dua / if she wonders about Allah and asks questions, I reminded her of Prophet Abraham’s story and how much he used to ponder and think before he discovered Allah).
I really believe that our religion is a practical guide for our dailies from the way we raise our kids, our dealings with people, how we work, what kind of member of society and the world we are, and everything else. Seeing that connection ourselves and passing that on to our kids is a wonderful way to stay close to our faith (eg: I feel really passionate about reducing waste in our homes and I believe our faith teaches us to be conscious of our resources so I make sure to tell Anya that. )
A FEW WONDERFUL RESOURCES
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Thank you so much for reading. Would love to know if you have anything to add on these.
Lots of love, Nataliya
BLOG | Nataliya Khan 
Loved the article. It is such an amazing experience that Allah gave us another chance to learn more and more while teaching and living it with our kids Alhamdulillah.
Jazakallah khair for such amazing words.
Tbh these are equally important in our muslim culture too. So thanks for writing this piece.
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